Graham Hembry-A Birth Story Part 1

*Disclaimer* - I do not plan to put every small detail of my labor/delivery in here, as I know there are some things one probably does not want me to share (reference: 'Up All Night': the Birth episode. If you haven't watched it, do. It's hilarious, especially if you have kids. Side note: that now includes me, and that's a weird thought.) However, I will put some details in, as discreetly as possible. I just wanted to prep anyone who may not do well with medical-type things before you read any further! Also, this is just my recollection of everything that happened. I can not claim that I was completely coherent all the time, as since his birth I have been told of things going on around me that I was totally clueless about!

We'll start with November 1st, my due date. I started my maternity leave on this date, not knowing if I'd have a baby yet or not. I'd had periodic contractions here and there, but just pre-labor type; nothing to write home about. I had a doctor's appt. that day and was only dilated to about 1, which is where I was the week prior. It was a bit discouraging, but I kept reminding myself that God had this planned before the beginning of time, so Graham would come exactly when he was supposed to. That was difficult though, as my mom was coming into town the next day, and I wanted her to have time with him as well. That night, since it was officially our last night just the two of us, we used a gift certificate generously given to us by small group, and went out to Mangia for a dinner date. The waiter seemed a bit surprised when he asked my due date and I said "today!", but thankfully, my water didn't break while there!

Mom came the next day, and, looking back, it was really nice to have a few days with her here just us-we were able to get things done around the house, spend time together shopping and talking and just being mom and daughter. We won't get that time back and it is precious to me. On Friday, November 4th, I felt a little different and seemed to have to pee every 2 minutes. I wasn't sure if this was possibly amniotic fluid leaking or if he was just getting more into position, so we stopped at the doctor's office and after an hour were able to see the nurse practitioner. I thankfully was not leaking any fluid, but also hadn't progressed much from earlier in the week. Sunday the 6th, after church we decided to go for a walk on Blackwater Creek Trail. I was having some more contractions and feeling a lot more pressure, which I took as a good sign. However, no labor yet.

We went to bed after "The Next Iron Chef" on Sunday night, and I slept very very well, better than I had in a while. I deem this providential, as I awoke Monday morning at 6 am with a contraction. At first, I didn't realize what was going on; I was in the middle of a dream and in the dream something had happened I was afraid I was in trouble for, so I thought that I was woken because of that. I then realized that it was slightly painful (not much) and started timing them. I laid in bed for the next hour timing the contractions, which were around 10 minutes apart on average. Around 7, I got out of bed, made some coffee and had a wonderful time spent reading my Bible and praying, excited and nervous for the day ahead! When mom and Jim got up, I let them know I was having contractions and we continued to time them using the app on my iPod. Jim made a big breakfast for us (bacon and eggs) and then we all got ready to run some errands.

-Oh-I forgot to note! this was the first day of Jim's 2 week leave from work as well-he had to start it on this day because of some trainings going on, so again, how providential that my labor would happen now!-

Anyway...back to Monday. Jim suggested maybe I should go to the chiropractor again to make sure everything was in line and ready to go for labor. I had already gone 2 other times in the past couple weeks, but decided if they could fit me in, why not? I called around 11:30 and they had an opening at noon, so we all got in the car and headed over. Following that appointment, we went to Target because I wanted to get a hooded towel for Graham (I was obsessed with these things, I don't really know why!) While there, I noticed my contractions getting a little stronger. This, combined with being hungry made me a bit grouchy, and Jim and I were a bit snippy with each other for a few minutes, til we realized we were being ridiculous. We all decided we needed food, so went to Moe's for lunch (me reluctantly at first-I'm a Chipotle girl). However, they have changed their menu and it wasn't that bad, I have to admit. While there, we were still timing contractions, and they were between 8-10 minutes apart. Following lunch, we dropped mom off to visit a friend and Jim and I ran to the mall. I was feeling tired, so stayed in the car while he ran in to purchase something. While in the car, I noted that they were getting closer together-around 7 minutes apart. Jim came back out and I let him know this; we went ahead and picked up mom, then had to stop at Kroger. In that amount of time, they progressed to around 5 minutes apart; when we left Kroger after 15 minutes or so, they were between 4-5 minutes apart.

We got home and I ate some toast to have something in my stomach, sat on the birthing ball to stretch my hips and kept timing...they remained at 4ish minutes for over an hour and were increasing in intensity, so we decided to go to the hospital. At this point I could still talk through the contractions, but had to stop and breathe a bit for each one before moving on; it was around 4:30 pm on November 7th.

Weakness

Sometimes I realize just how immature I am, or how 'young' I am in my faith. Moments happen that 'test' me and over and over again I react the same way. I am driven by an intense desire to be liked and to be accepted by others and when I am not, I am rocked to the core. When someone is mad at me, it eats away at me and literally ruins my day. In fact, the prospect of someone being mad at me, the not knowing if they are, does the same thing. I want control. I want to fix it. I want them to think the best of me and to accept me. This happened to me today - someone misunderstood something I said and they were really upset w/ me. My world was rocked and my whole demeanor changed. My wife tried to encourage me, but I was in a slump... I pray that someday my reaction is to tell myself that I am rooted in Christ and that I am accepted by him, and I don't need peoples' approval all the time. I pray that God changes this tendency in me... I certainly can't fix it myself...

2 Corinthians 12:9 - But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness". Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

- Jim

It's Been Awhile!

It's Jim... Things have gone so quickly, it is hard to believe it has been so long since I posted. To tell the truth, I have been less focused on reflecting on the things I am thankful for, having been caught up in the whirlwind of baby Graham being born. I have so much to be thankful for and so much that I am thankful for. I can't believe that Thanksgiving is only a week away. Here are a few things I am thankful for:

116. Safe and healthy birth of my little boy

117. Staring at Graham's eyes and realizing that his helplessness and total dependence on us is a picture of our total helplessness and total dependence on our heavenly Father

118. Laughing and crying w/ my wife at the changes we are going through

119. Sweet sleep when we can get it

120. for the in-laws being here our first week home

121. For Linda and Carol being there to support and help during delivery and the first couple of days at the hospital

122. God's provision for us through wonderful friends bringing food and coffee!

123. that Graham got to meet his grandparents so soon after his birth

124. For wisdom and patience at the hospital in regards to breastfeeding and caring for our boy

125. Little moments of prayer w/ Alisha - usually tear filled asking for strength, patience, peace and rest

126. Technology like Skype so that other members of our families and our friends can meet our little boy

127. Comfy clothes and rainy fall days

128. Heat and a nice cozy house

129. Cameras to capture special moments w/ our boy

130. Strong and patient wife who cares for our son and feeds him (continually) :)

131. Good relationships w/ my in-laws (can't take it for granted!)

132. The anticipation of Thanksgiving and Christmas - and Advent!

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Waiting

This seems to be the word of the week: waiting. Anticipation. Knowing this child could literally come any day, and expecting, hoping...but nothing yet. It's been a bit difficult, as we've been looking forward to "November 1st" for 9 months, and now it's November 6th, and there's not really an end it sight yet. I'm thankful for the days I've had to rest and relax this past week, although knowing I started maternity leave from work with no baby has been a bit bittersweet at times. For Jim, he starts his 2 weeks of leave Monday, and was hoping to have the full 2 weeks with his son, but that may not happen, and he's learning how to deal with that bit of disappointment. My mom came after my due date (one day) hoping to time it as best as possible...and while she's excited to be here for the actual birth, she also knows that every day she's here and I don't go into labor is one less day she has with her grandson, which I know is so very difficult.

It's been hard for me too, as I do in fact want him here, but there's nothing I can really do about it right now (if I'm wanting this to progress naturally, which I do). So when I can see the disappointment in other people's faces every day he's not here, I feel almost responsible. I know this logically makes no sense, but believe me, with pregnancy hormones, logic doesn't matter. What has been good, however, is that even in just a few days' time, God has been using this time to teach me more about patience and His sovereignty, and for that, I am truly thankful. Knowing I really have no control over this, and knowing that God has ordained each of Graham's days from before time began, is such an amazing concept; such a humbling thing to learn. God hasn't been bound by "11/1/11" at all-He knows the exact time, day and way in which our baby boy will make his arrival into this world, and it will be beautiful, and in just the way it's supposed to be-whether that happens tonight or a week from now, it will be just as it is meant to be. We have a hope...a hope that is a confident expectation, an eager longing...knowing that at the end we will hold our bundle of joy-our son. I couldn't ask for a better longing than that.

Well...this is it!

We've hit the 40 week mark! By my calculations, today would be my due date; but according to the doctor, it's Tuesday, so I still have a couple days til then. I've been having some contractions off and on-we're starting to time them to see if it's anything consistent, which is exciting...but also frustrating because the anticipation builds and then it's like...oh. Nevermind. But that's all part of the journey I guess.

I've been really nervous the past week or so and not quite ready for him to arrive. Partly nerves about labor, and partly nerves about having a child. Jim and I have both been struggling with this I think, and it shows itself in different ways. Sometimes we spend money and don't care-like going out to eat when we really should cook at home; sometimes in letting house chores go and just wanting to "have fun", or doing the opposite-not relaxing and focusing only on working. Either way, it's avoidance manifesting itself in some form. Which equates to giving into fear and anxiety and not trusting God. We've both realized this and are learning to rest in the truth that He loves us, loves Graham and will provide everything we need, and sustain us through this change.

106. Time to rest
107. Support of friends-feeling how loved we are
108. Anticipation of the holiday season
109. Possibility of snow-even though it didn't come, the waiting was exciting
110. Gorgeous fall colors
111. Taking time to enjoy simple pleasures
112. Blue Ridge Parkway in the fall
113. Provision-in time, money and resources
114. Time spent with friends that will provide memories to last
115. Coffee and rummy games-some things will always be fun. :)

~Alisha

Slacker

Yep, that's me. It has been far too long since I posted on here! I promise, I have been keeping track of little daily blessings in my notebook (although even there-not nearly as often as I would like). As much as I am on the computer, you would think I could take a couple of minutes and add to this blog a couple times a week. We'll work on that. Especially with all the extra time I'm sure we'll have soon! (sarcasm noted)

We have been so busy the last 2 weeks, I feel like I've run a marathon. I'm sure it doesn't help that just walking from the chair to the bathroom makes me feel like I need to stop and breathe for a minute-seriously, if you ever want to increase your level of fitness in a quick manner, just strap on an extra 30 lbs of weight right around your midsection. You'll be amazed. On second thought, you may pull something, so don't do that. Besides, you really can't get the full effect of pregnancy without little feet up in your ribs, peeing all the time and maybe getting 2 hours straight of sleep before having to wake up again.

OK...not complaining, really. I have loved being pregnant. (I have some friends who may hate me for saying that) Only in the last couple of weeks have I started to get really uncomfortable, between the lessening space in my womb and the lessening space in all of my shoes as my feet stay puffy. But overall, it's been a great experience, one I think I'm going to miss, even though I am also really looking forward to holding our baby (and sleeping on my back, and drinking a glass of wine among other things). We've finished our birthing classes and, thankfully, Jim feels more prepared/less anxious about the experience now, although I may be more so. I hadn't been scared of labor at all before now, and I don't think I'm so much scared as I am nervous of the unknown. But, as I am reminded by lots of people, millions of women do this all the time, and I know my body is designed for this. (thanks Eve)

So, onto the list...

96. an overabundance of blessing from family and friends-3 showers in 3 weekends, we are truly blessed!
97. God's provision in so many small ways-an old bank broken open provided enough money to buy crib bedding, a boppy cover and changing pad cover!
98. Opportunities to be used to show grace, and that not of ourselves-good conversations with family
99. Crisp, cold fall mornings!!
100. Apple picking-one of the many reasons I love the area we live in
101. Restored/renewed relationships with friends
102. Seeing good friends who live too far away; thankful for friendships over miles
103. Music. Pandora, specifically. It sounds silly, but being able to listen to such a wide variety of good music for free is so wonderful.
104. My husband. Creative, hard-working and such a help during a time when just standing up tends to sap my energy some days!
105. Early, quiet mornings-waking up with the day

Off I go-time to get ready for the work day!

~Alisha