It's a Mindset

So, yesterday was a LONG day! Alisha and I decided to go ahead and redo the shower in the downstairs bathroom as step one of two for finishing the bathroom before Meador #3 arrives. I don't know how, but I ALWAYS underestimate how long things will take. I had hoped to get all the tiling done yesterday and do the grouting this evening, but I had to stop at 11PM last night so the neighbors wouldn't be too upset w/ the sound of a ridiculously loud tile saw.

So after a long day, I was stiff and so tired and all I wanted to do was sleep. I crawl in bed and close my eyes and keep thinking how furstrated I was that I didn't finish the tiling. Alisha asks me "what are you thankful for today", which resulted in annoyance and frustration - can't you tell I am tired? can't you tell I want to sleep? I replied, "a comfy bed" in a short tone and refocused on sleeping! Alisha left the room for a second and I started thinking about what she had said. When she came back in the room, I had my list ready:

21. A comfy bed to fall into when I am tired and sore

22. Friends who are willing to set their own agendas aside to help when I need it

23. A good conversation w/ one of my neighbors

24. Owning the tools to be able to do this renovation project

25. Knowing how to do these renovations which save us a lot of money

26. A good breeze as Alisha and I sat and ate a quick dinner on the side porch

27. Friends who let us use their showers when ours is out of order

28. A wife who asks me the tough questions to get me thinking and help me change my outlook from frustration to thanksgiving

29. Backrubs when I am sore

30. Energy to work and accomplish so much in a day

Hijack

I decided to hijack the blog and thought maybe we could both write on it. It's a little more cohesive to write my list(s) on here than on my other blog...plus I don't keep up with that regularly anyway!

I've been battling allergies for the past 3 days and have felt downright miserable; I thought it was turning into a bad sinus infection. No, really, there's a picture of me on Jim's phone that should never be seen, because it documents just how miserable I looked. While I'm on the upswing (I think) I am still pretty tired and trying to make sure I take it easy...which I feel bad doing when I have a to-do list about 3 miles long!

That's where the change is hitting me. Wanting to nest, to have everything in its place and organized. And when it's not, I feel cluttered, on top of stepping around it in my house. But, while I sit here typing and feeling slightly guilty for not having more energy as my husband is working away in the bathroom tearing apart our shower...there is time for thanks.

#11: enough tile for the bathtub at 90% off retail-we can finally do this project without spending much money!

#12: security knowing God provides what we need, when we need it (monetarily, emotionally, etc.)

#13: flowers. God didn't have to make them at all, and He definitely didn't have to make them beautiful, but they are.

#14: the opportunity to water said flowers and care for God's creation

#15: learning to garden. While it may seem like a bit of a flop this year, we're learning.

#16: a husband who is willing to talk, to listen, and to lead

#17: a God who cares for my company and the employees more than I do

#18: learning, in general. Life, school, work...lots of lessons to be learned

#19: feeling this Little One move inside me. There's nothing quite like it, and it brings me so much joy!

#20: Old friends that last through so much; the ability to laugh and have fun together

I believe I'm off to bed shortly...the mess will have to wait til the morning.

-Alisha

Changes

Change is hard, and I am taking it harder than I thought I would. I long for things to be as they were, or as I remember them... but fleeting 'grass is greener' thoughts don't help me where I am now. My wife has been telling me that she doesn't think we live very intentionally... and my defensive wall goes up. Am I failing at life? Am I failing as a husband? Why isn't my wife happy? She isn't content with our life? STOP! Thoughts and images flood my mind of how my life is so hard and how I am failing at everything when what I am really doing is just depressing myself. For every look I take at myself, I need 10 looks at Jesus. I am chosen. I am redeemed. I have a future hope. I have a million blessings around me and all I can think about is how hot it is outside and tired I am. My wife encouraged me tonight to think about those little blessings. I rummaged through the blogs she follows and found the book she has been talking about - One Thousand Gifts. My goal is to take my wife by the hand and walk this changing winding road together - not missing the blessings God places around us daily. I bought the book on Amazon and though I haven't started reading yet, I am ready to start my list...

1. My wonderful, encouraging, patient wife

2. Meador #3 on the way

3. Friends who love me and who truly care about my life and my family

4. My job - with all the ups and downs

5. My church - the body of Christ as I have never experienced it before

6. Music - I can't picture my life without it

7. Unending Grace - for the chiefest of sinners

8. Working Cars

9. My House (especially now with new windows in this heat)

10. Time outside every day with my job

I am just starting my list, and hope to gain a better focus and perspective on life through eyes of thankfulness and gratitude. Meador #3 will be here by Thanksgiving this year... I wonder how my life will be different by then?