Graham Hembry-A Birth Story: Part 2

2 weeks later...I'm getting to this. :) Such is the life of a new mommy I'm realizing! Let's see where we left off...I want to get this written before I forget details!

We arrived at the hospital, and while we'd pre-registered, were still required to check in, make a payment, etc. I was able to breathe through the contractions while sitting there, then rode the elevator up to the birth center floor. They definitely took their sweet time in getting me checked in, weighed, in the room (which wasn't a delivery room, just one to monitor before officially checking someone in)...all the while my contractions were starting to increase in intensity. Once in the room, I was hooked up to the monitors and left for about 20 minute intervals to monitor my contractions. They were having trouble tracking G's heartbeat, so I had to lie there for over an hour, some on my side, some on my back. When having contractions, that was not the most pleasant experience. They checked me and I was only dilated to a 3 when I arrived, and after that first hour and a half, I was still only a 3, so they advised me to walk. Walk I did...mom, Jim and I walked all around the floor for about 45 minutes; I was having to stop and breathe through the contractions whenever they came, holding on to the railings on the wall and Jim rubbing my back. When we got back to the room, they hooked me up to the monitors again and re-checked me; I was STILL only a 3! Ugh. That discouraged me a lot, as the contractions were pretty painful already. I kept telling Jim "I don't want to do this, I don't know how!" and he kept saying "You are doing it! You're doing it." Thank God for him-I don't know how I would have managed.

Knowing I wanted a natural birth, they gave me the option to go home and labor instead of staying there, which we decided to do, so as not be pressured by anyone regarding drugs/medicines, etc. We arrived home around 8:30 pm and I tried lying in bed with Pride and Prejudice on the computer; Jim and mom and Carol taking turns rubbing my back. This worked for a while and I was able to rest a bit, but soon the contractions were too strong and I did not want to lie still. I jumped off the bed and was walking around, then decided to get in the shower. At this point it gets a little fuzzy...I was in the shower/bath for the majority of the next 2 hours. Jim tried to get me to eat a little, but I wasn't able to swallow much except a few grapes and a couple crackers. Mom poured me a glass of wine to help me relax (and before you freak out-this is much more safe than any of the drugs I would have had at the hospital!), and I went back and forth between sitting and having my back rubbed and being in the shower.

I labored differently with each person helping-with mom, I just wanted her to help me breathe. Carol would just talk to me like normal and I was able to focus on conversation and not as much on the contractions. Jim would talk to me about things we had done/things we had planned, so as to keep my mind off the pain. I was also repeatedly asking for drugs! :) In the shower, I started...moaning?...I don't know what you would call it, but it felt good to make some noise and have it reverberate off the shower walls-this helped immensely when a contraction came on. At some point, I realized they were getting extremely strong, and I would feel my body wanting to push. I told mom this and they called the hospital, who informed them that since it was my first baby, it was highly unlikely I'd progressed that quickly, and just to take "comfort measures" (I think this was sometime shortly after 11 pm). I tried to just focus, but they continued to intensify; Carol came back over and helped time the contractions...when she realized they were lasting 2-3 minutes and with little to no break (maybe 30 seconds) we decided it was time to go to the hospital-mom called to let them know we were on our way. I did NOT want to get out of the shower; Jim had to coax me out in between contractions, and threw some clothes on me to get in the car. We left around 12:15 am on November 8th.

That car ride was the most miserable experience I have ever had-sorry, but while birth was a beautiful, natural thing, it was painful like nothing I've ever experienced. For days afterwards I kept thinking "I don't EVER want to do that again!" I think part of it may have been made worse by my fear that I wasn't progressing...I was thinking, "If I'm only a 5 or 6 and already feeling like I have to push, I can't do this!" I told mom and Jim that on the way to the hospital-that if I wasn't progressing, we were seriously going to consider something to take the edge off (even though I honestly didn't want this, but the pain was just too intense). Mom helped me breathe through each contraction in the car, and as soon as we pulled up they got a wheelchair and wheeled me in. Jim laughs at this part, because it was the exact opposite of when we checked in earlier. This time, I was semi crying/moaning, sopping wet, trying to breathe, in a wheelchair...they just looked at me and said "go on up, we already called ahead!"

I was taken straight to a delivery room, and the nurse had to get me hooked up to a monitor, which I was fighting like crazy, because I didn't want to sit still again. I had another contraction and told her I needed to push; she wouldn't let me at first until I was hooked up. Another came soon thereafter, and I said "I really need to push!" and to my surprise (and relief!) she said "OK, go ahead!" She checked me while I was pushing, I heard Jim ask how much I was dilated and she said "She's pretty much fully dilated" and she could see his head! I can't even tell you how excited I was to hear that! Not long thereafter-a few more small pushes, and he was close enough to crowning that they called the doctor in. Pushing was HARD-I kept wanting to make noise/yell when pushing and they kept telling me to hold my breath...I finally got it down after a bit. I don't have a concept of time at this point, but about 1/2 way through pushing my water broke, which felt wonderfully relieving, and with only about 45 minutes of pushing, out he came at 1:53 am!

When his head came out, the cord was wrapped around his neck too tightly to pull over his head, so the doctor had to cut it right away. Another couple of pushes and he was out-I remember Carol saying "Open your eyes!" and I did and there was my son! It was the most surreal experience I can imagine-and almost immediate relief once he was out. He had merconium in utero (his first poop) so they took him immediately and suctioned him. I didn't know it then, but the neo-natal team was in there, as that can cause an infection...Jim said it was a bit scary. I delivered the placenta and had to have some stitches...all the while they were still working on him. He was a bit weezy and they were concerned he had some respiratory issues; they were about to call the neo-natal team back in when one nurse (bless her!) said "Why don't we just put him on mom and see what happens?" They put him on my chest and he immediately started breathing normally. That was probably the sweetest moment of my life, to feel your child and know that what he needed was to be with his mama. Looking back, had I known he wasn't in any real danger, I would have insisted he be put on me immediately (as we planned) but thinking he was in danger, I let them do what I thought needed to be done. Thankfully he is a healthy boy!

That's the basics of the birth story...life since has been a whirlwind, which I'm going to try and blog about as well-one of these days. :)

Graham Hembry-A Birth Story Part 1

*Disclaimer* - I do not plan to put every small detail of my labor/delivery in here, as I know there are some things one probably does not want me to share (reference: 'Up All Night': the Birth episode. If you haven't watched it, do. It's hilarious, especially if you have kids. Side note: that now includes me, and that's a weird thought.) However, I will put some details in, as discreetly as possible. I just wanted to prep anyone who may not do well with medical-type things before you read any further! Also, this is just my recollection of everything that happened. I can not claim that I was completely coherent all the time, as since his birth I have been told of things going on around me that I was totally clueless about!

We'll start with November 1st, my due date. I started my maternity leave on this date, not knowing if I'd have a baby yet or not. I'd had periodic contractions here and there, but just pre-labor type; nothing to write home about. I had a doctor's appt. that day and was only dilated to about 1, which is where I was the week prior. It was a bit discouraging, but I kept reminding myself that God had this planned before the beginning of time, so Graham would come exactly when he was supposed to. That was difficult though, as my mom was coming into town the next day, and I wanted her to have time with him as well. That night, since it was officially our last night just the two of us, we used a gift certificate generously given to us by small group, and went out to Mangia for a dinner date. The waiter seemed a bit surprised when he asked my due date and I said "today!", but thankfully, my water didn't break while there!

Mom came the next day, and, looking back, it was really nice to have a few days with her here just us-we were able to get things done around the house, spend time together shopping and talking and just being mom and daughter. We won't get that time back and it is precious to me. On Friday, November 4th, I felt a little different and seemed to have to pee every 2 minutes. I wasn't sure if this was possibly amniotic fluid leaking or if he was just getting more into position, so we stopped at the doctor's office and after an hour were able to see the nurse practitioner. I thankfully was not leaking any fluid, but also hadn't progressed much from earlier in the week. Sunday the 6th, after church we decided to go for a walk on Blackwater Creek Trail. I was having some more contractions and feeling a lot more pressure, which I took as a good sign. However, no labor yet.

We went to bed after "The Next Iron Chef" on Sunday night, and I slept very very well, better than I had in a while. I deem this providential, as I awoke Monday morning at 6 am with a contraction. At first, I didn't realize what was going on; I was in the middle of a dream and in the dream something had happened I was afraid I was in trouble for, so I thought that I was woken because of that. I then realized that it was slightly painful (not much) and started timing them. I laid in bed for the next hour timing the contractions, which were around 10 minutes apart on average. Around 7, I got out of bed, made some coffee and had a wonderful time spent reading my Bible and praying, excited and nervous for the day ahead! When mom and Jim got up, I let them know I was having contractions and we continued to time them using the app on my iPod. Jim made a big breakfast for us (bacon and eggs) and then we all got ready to run some errands.

-Oh-I forgot to note! this was the first day of Jim's 2 week leave from work as well-he had to start it on this day because of some trainings going on, so again, how providential that my labor would happen now!-

Anyway...back to Monday. Jim suggested maybe I should go to the chiropractor again to make sure everything was in line and ready to go for labor. I had already gone 2 other times in the past couple weeks, but decided if they could fit me in, why not? I called around 11:30 and they had an opening at noon, so we all got in the car and headed over. Following that appointment, we went to Target because I wanted to get a hooded towel for Graham (I was obsessed with these things, I don't really know why!) While there, I noticed my contractions getting a little stronger. This, combined with being hungry made me a bit grouchy, and Jim and I were a bit snippy with each other for a few minutes, til we realized we were being ridiculous. We all decided we needed food, so went to Moe's for lunch (me reluctantly at first-I'm a Chipotle girl). However, they have changed their menu and it wasn't that bad, I have to admit. While there, we were still timing contractions, and they were between 8-10 minutes apart. Following lunch, we dropped mom off to visit a friend and Jim and I ran to the mall. I was feeling tired, so stayed in the car while he ran in to purchase something. While in the car, I noted that they were getting closer together-around 7 minutes apart. Jim came back out and I let him know this; we went ahead and picked up mom, then had to stop at Kroger. In that amount of time, they progressed to around 5 minutes apart; when we left Kroger after 15 minutes or so, they were between 4-5 minutes apart.

We got home and I ate some toast to have something in my stomach, sat on the birthing ball to stretch my hips and kept timing...they remained at 4ish minutes for over an hour and were increasing in intensity, so we decided to go to the hospital. At this point I could still talk through the contractions, but had to stop and breathe a bit for each one before moving on; it was around 4:30 pm on November 7th.

Weakness

Sometimes I realize just how immature I am, or how 'young' I am in my faith. Moments happen that 'test' me and over and over again I react the same way. I am driven by an intense desire to be liked and to be accepted by others and when I am not, I am rocked to the core. When someone is mad at me, it eats away at me and literally ruins my day. In fact, the prospect of someone being mad at me, the not knowing if they are, does the same thing. I want control. I want to fix it. I want them to think the best of me and to accept me. This happened to me today - someone misunderstood something I said and they were really upset w/ me. My world was rocked and my whole demeanor changed. My wife tried to encourage me, but I was in a slump... I pray that someday my reaction is to tell myself that I am rooted in Christ and that I am accepted by him, and I don't need peoples' approval all the time. I pray that God changes this tendency in me... I certainly can't fix it myself...

2 Corinthians 12:9 - But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness". Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

- Jim

It's Been Awhile!

It's Jim... Things have gone so quickly, it is hard to believe it has been so long since I posted. To tell the truth, I have been less focused on reflecting on the things I am thankful for, having been caught up in the whirlwind of baby Graham being born. I have so much to be thankful for and so much that I am thankful for. I can't believe that Thanksgiving is only a week away. Here are a few things I am thankful for:

116. Safe and healthy birth of my little boy

117. Staring at Graham's eyes and realizing that his helplessness and total dependence on us is a picture of our total helplessness and total dependence on our heavenly Father

118. Laughing and crying w/ my wife at the changes we are going through

119. Sweet sleep when we can get it

120. for the in-laws being here our first week home

121. For Linda and Carol being there to support and help during delivery and the first couple of days at the hospital

122. God's provision for us through wonderful friends bringing food and coffee!

123. that Graham got to meet his grandparents so soon after his birth

124. For wisdom and patience at the hospital in regards to breastfeeding and caring for our boy

125. Little moments of prayer w/ Alisha - usually tear filled asking for strength, patience, peace and rest

126. Technology like Skype so that other members of our families and our friends can meet our little boy

127. Comfy clothes and rainy fall days

128. Heat and a nice cozy house

129. Cameras to capture special moments w/ our boy

130. Strong and patient wife who cares for our son and feeds him (continually) :)

131. Good relationships w/ my in-laws (can't take it for granted!)

132. The anticipation of Thanksgiving and Christmas - and Advent!

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Waiting

This seems to be the word of the week: waiting. Anticipation. Knowing this child could literally come any day, and expecting, hoping...but nothing yet. It's been a bit difficult, as we've been looking forward to "November 1st" for 9 months, and now it's November 6th, and there's not really an end it sight yet. I'm thankful for the days I've had to rest and relax this past week, although knowing I started maternity leave from work with no baby has been a bit bittersweet at times. For Jim, he starts his 2 weeks of leave Monday, and was hoping to have the full 2 weeks with his son, but that may not happen, and he's learning how to deal with that bit of disappointment. My mom came after my due date (one day) hoping to time it as best as possible...and while she's excited to be here for the actual birth, she also knows that every day she's here and I don't go into labor is one less day she has with her grandson, which I know is so very difficult.

It's been hard for me too, as I do in fact want him here, but there's nothing I can really do about it right now (if I'm wanting this to progress naturally, which I do). So when I can see the disappointment in other people's faces every day he's not here, I feel almost responsible. I know this logically makes no sense, but believe me, with pregnancy hormones, logic doesn't matter. What has been good, however, is that even in just a few days' time, God has been using this time to teach me more about patience and His sovereignty, and for that, I am truly thankful. Knowing I really have no control over this, and knowing that God has ordained each of Graham's days from before time began, is such an amazing concept; such a humbling thing to learn. God hasn't been bound by "11/1/11" at all-He knows the exact time, day and way in which our baby boy will make his arrival into this world, and it will be beautiful, and in just the way it's supposed to be-whether that happens tonight or a week from now, it will be just as it is meant to be. We have a hope...a hope that is a confident expectation, an eager longing...knowing that at the end we will hold our bundle of joy-our son. I couldn't ask for a better longing than that.

Well...this is it!

We've hit the 40 week mark! By my calculations, today would be my due date; but according to the doctor, it's Tuesday, so I still have a couple days til then. I've been having some contractions off and on-we're starting to time them to see if it's anything consistent, which is exciting...but also frustrating because the anticipation builds and then it's like...oh. Nevermind. But that's all part of the journey I guess.

I've been really nervous the past week or so and not quite ready for him to arrive. Partly nerves about labor, and partly nerves about having a child. Jim and I have both been struggling with this I think, and it shows itself in different ways. Sometimes we spend money and don't care-like going out to eat when we really should cook at home; sometimes in letting house chores go and just wanting to "have fun", or doing the opposite-not relaxing and focusing only on working. Either way, it's avoidance manifesting itself in some form. Which equates to giving into fear and anxiety and not trusting God. We've both realized this and are learning to rest in the truth that He loves us, loves Graham and will provide everything we need, and sustain us through this change.

106. Time to rest
107. Support of friends-feeling how loved we are
108. Anticipation of the holiday season
109. Possibility of snow-even though it didn't come, the waiting was exciting
110. Gorgeous fall colors
111. Taking time to enjoy simple pleasures
112. Blue Ridge Parkway in the fall
113. Provision-in time, money and resources
114. Time spent with friends that will provide memories to last
115. Coffee and rummy games-some things will always be fun. :)

~Alisha

Slacker

Yep, that's me. It has been far too long since I posted on here! I promise, I have been keeping track of little daily blessings in my notebook (although even there-not nearly as often as I would like). As much as I am on the computer, you would think I could take a couple of minutes and add to this blog a couple times a week. We'll work on that. Especially with all the extra time I'm sure we'll have soon! (sarcasm noted)

We have been so busy the last 2 weeks, I feel like I've run a marathon. I'm sure it doesn't help that just walking from the chair to the bathroom makes me feel like I need to stop and breathe for a minute-seriously, if you ever want to increase your level of fitness in a quick manner, just strap on an extra 30 lbs of weight right around your midsection. You'll be amazed. On second thought, you may pull something, so don't do that. Besides, you really can't get the full effect of pregnancy without little feet up in your ribs, peeing all the time and maybe getting 2 hours straight of sleep before having to wake up again.

OK...not complaining, really. I have loved being pregnant. (I have some friends who may hate me for saying that) Only in the last couple of weeks have I started to get really uncomfortable, between the lessening space in my womb and the lessening space in all of my shoes as my feet stay puffy. But overall, it's been a great experience, one I think I'm going to miss, even though I am also really looking forward to holding our baby (and sleeping on my back, and drinking a glass of wine among other things). We've finished our birthing classes and, thankfully, Jim feels more prepared/less anxious about the experience now, although I may be more so. I hadn't been scared of labor at all before now, and I don't think I'm so much scared as I am nervous of the unknown. But, as I am reminded by lots of people, millions of women do this all the time, and I know my body is designed for this. (thanks Eve)

So, onto the list...

96. an overabundance of blessing from family and friends-3 showers in 3 weekends, we are truly blessed!
97. God's provision in so many small ways-an old bank broken open provided enough money to buy crib bedding, a boppy cover and changing pad cover!
98. Opportunities to be used to show grace, and that not of ourselves-good conversations with family
99. Crisp, cold fall mornings!!
100. Apple picking-one of the many reasons I love the area we live in
101. Restored/renewed relationships with friends
102. Seeing good friends who live too far away; thankful for friendships over miles
103. Music. Pandora, specifically. It sounds silly, but being able to listen to such a wide variety of good music for free is so wonderful.
104. My husband. Creative, hard-working and such a help during a time when just standing up tends to sap my energy some days!
105. Early, quiet mornings-waking up with the day

Off I go-time to get ready for the work day!

~Alisha

32 Weeks!

Hello baby!

I can't believe I'm 32 weeks already...time is flying by, and it won't be much longer now. Jim and I are both incredibly excited to meet our little guy, but also incredibly nervous. I find that I fluctuate between just wanting him to be here, and freaking out because I feel like we're never going to be ready, and it's going to change everything, and we don't know what we'll be like as parents...and on and on and on. But then I remember-this child is God's, not ours. We're being entrusted to take care of him and love him and help him grow, but God is much more concerned about his well-being than we could ever be. So we'll be fine. One thing I am looking forward to...being able to bend over again.

~Alisha

Graham's Nursery

I decided to put up a few pictures of Graham's Nursery. This picture below was taken right after we got our crib and before we really started working on the nursery. It turned out pretty differently by the time were done. Enjoy!

We painted the walls a bluish grey below the chair rail and a grey on top. We took a few decorations from elsewhere in our house and bought a few to create his little room.

The boat in this picture we bought a few years ago at Target. At the time it went very well with our nautical theme we were planning to implement in our attic, but it fits much better in Graham's room. The rocking chair was given to us by my parents, and is the same chair that my parents used to rock me in when I was a baby. The table was a black end table that we didn't think went very well in the room because of it's color. Instead of buying a new table at $50+ we decided to re-vamp this one by covering it in some leftover fabric and bought some rope from Lowes for $0.47 p/foot. (4 feet was just long enough despite what I thought we would need).

The photo collage was a mixture of new and old frames. Some of these we had sitting in our attic and we bought the silver ones to make a cool combination of old meets new. The rectangle and oval frames and the mixture of styles makes it an interesting focal point. The light we made from an old wire basket and used fabric to sew a liner for it. We then attached the liner with kitchen string and a large-eyed needle.

My mother in law helped us when she was here by making these awesome curtains (which I didn't take a very good picture of now that I am looking through them - hopefully I will take a better one soon). They reminded us of sail cloth when we bought the fabric and we used the extra fabric to make the liner for the light fixture in the picture above this one. The globe, mirror, and moulding squares were all elsewhere in our house.

This dresser we found a year or so ago at an antique shop in Roanoke. We painted it with the same paint as the chair rail and moulding in the room and we really like how it turned out. We also found the oar for $5 at a shop in Salem. I used a staple gun and some wire to make hangers on the back to put it up.

The shelf was given to us and we painted it with the same paint as the dresser. The oil lamp was another decoration we took from elsewhere in our house. The blocks we found a year or so ago and I had to buy them - I love blocks! I actually made the sock monkey as well (my first attempt at knitting in the round) and we bought the little candle sticks and round frame.

The 'G' hook Alisha found in Charlottesville at Anthropologie. I wasn't sure about it at first but really like it now (she was right). On the floor (you can barely see it in the picture) we found an amazing wooden alphabet block board for about $3 in Appomattox. Again, we bought this about a year ago and have been holding on to it since then. Alisha wasn't sure if we would use it for a girl's room, so I was pretty excited that we were having a boy as I thought it was so great.

This has been a lot of fun and we saved a lot of money by doing so much ourselves and repurposing furniture and decorations. We are so blessed and thankful for God's provision and abundant blessings in allowing us to decorate this nursery for our boy.

Remember Sweatshirts?

So, maybe once or twice per year, either my wife or I (usually me) will say something funny that gets us both laughing so hard we can't stop laughing or crying, and we can't breathe! Last year, that hilarious statement was 'remember sweatshirts'? I know it doesn't sound very funny out of context, but Alisha and I had just gone to bed and I had the air on and the fan going (can't stand to be hot when I sleep) and just blurted it out - "Remember Sweatshirts"? We both laughed so hard! Every once in a while one of us will just say it to each other and crack up laughing.

This week, we had another moment like this. It was Saturday morning, and Alisha and I were talking, and a song lyric came into my head. I couldn't remember the tune so I made it up. I started singing in a flat, monotone voice - like a durge - "when I was a child, I thought as a child" - I still couldn't remember the tune and Alisha interrupts me, and says "why are you singing 1 Corinthians 13"? I busted out laughing, not realizing what I was singing, and then we both started up and before I knew it we were both crying and laughing and so I kept going, "now I am a man, I have put away childish things"... followed by more laughter and tears... any ways, I am truly thankful for laughter and little moments I get to share w/ my wife like this!

It has been a little while since I was able to post. School started back for me (I work at a school - I don't attend school, just in case you were wondering), and things are in full swing. I was hesitant about how many changes were taking place but things have truly gone well (although busy days!). I have much to be thankful for!

96. It is chilly outside - no lie! It is wonderful. Alisha and I went for a walk tonight and I wore a long-sleeved shirt! I LOVE IT!

97. I love being able to whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies, and am thankful for the resources to be able to do so - not only the ingredients, but the supplies, power to be able to cook with, and working appliances... sometimes I take these for granted...

98. We have truly been through a lot in the last week or two - an earthquake then a hurricane, and we had very minimal damage and no loss of power! God was truly gracious to us.

99. I am thankful for friends who challenge me during the week - getting e-mails from my small group and reading others' opinions on current topics or ways the gospel is ring subtly attacked in our society - it is truly a reminder to 'test the spirits' and not just take it for what it appears

100. I am thankful for the assurance of my salvation, though sometimes I doubt it - and assurance that Jesus Christ is completing His work in me until completion

101. I am thankful that someone donated some tickets to a sporting event that I get to go w/ my family and a friend! Truly a blessing in a financially difficult time for my family.

102. While things didn't work out as I anticipated with a potential new (to us) car, I am thankful that Alisha and I have two safe and sound cars to transport us around freely and without worrying if they will break down.

103. I am so thankful for the blessing of my parents who take the time to help and serve us. My mom came down and helped me get a bunch of things done around the house. My dad has done a lot of work on our cars and let his wife come down to help us (while he had to fend for himself).

104. I am thankful for rest! The sermon on Sunday was reviewing the Sabbath and the concept of rest, and although I tend to be overly 'busy', I am thankful for moments of peace, rest and relaxation.

105. I am thankful for the kindness and encouragement of friends!

I'm back!

I've been slacking the past couple of weeks in posting my additions to the blog. It's not that I haven't been looking for God's everyday gifts, but just haven't put them into blog form. We had a great 5th anniversary weekend away at the beach...it was perfect timing as this past week has been very hectic for me! Between work and finals for school, I think that is almost all I did most of the week. Jim was able to get some things done he'd wanted to work on and just take time to relax during his week off before the school schedule begins-it was a full week for both of us, which has resulted in a little bit of chaos around the house! My goal today is to try to clean...although I don't even know where to start. :S Even in the midst of our bit of chaos, God continues to provide daily reminders of beauty and grace.

85. a much-needed break from school...in God's perfect timing (funding was unavailable this semester-a forced but welcome break!)
86. finishing the semester well
87. rest for my hard-working husband-a well-deserved week off!
88. sounds and smells of outdoors in the early morning
89. quiet solitude on the beach at sunrise
90. golden light on rolling waves-heavens displaying God's glory
91. trials throughout the past year-Romans 5:3-5
91. basking in the truth and beginning to understand that God is FOR me.
92. pre-storm breezes blowing through curtains
93. late summer rainstorms
94. opportunities to use skills (interpreting jobs given)
95. anticipation of coming celebrations

~Alisha

Sometimes this is hard!

So, today has been a difficult day for me. I went out to my car this morning to quickly grab something and realized someone had broken in and stolen several of our belongings including a $600 camera, satellite radio receiver, and some other things. At first, I was okay w/ it and maintained a good attitude. As the day progressed, things continued to etch away at that good attitude, and I was having a difficult time being thankful. In fact, Alisha was trying to encourage me to be thankful, and I just didn't want to do anything but lay in my bed and shut out the world for a while. I can't believe how stubborn I am in moments of difficulty. My true self shines through in these tough times and I realize how self-centered/self-focused my life is. At times when I get discouraged, I don't truly want to change my mindset - instead I want to wallow in it and make others feel bad for me too. I have much to learn. I pray that God changes my heart as left to myself I will continue to be this way...

I spent the afternoon scrounging around my house to find things I could sell online or on Craigslist to buy another camera before Graham comes... I listed several things, and this evening after small group found out that I sold one thing and had an inquiry for another. There's $35 I didn't have this morning...

81. I am thankful that God in His providence, allowed these things to be taken and that I can trust Him to continue to provide abundantly for my family.

82. I am thankful that I had such a quick response on a few of these items already

83. I am thankful for a wife who does challenge/exhort me during times when I am so self-centered

84. I am thankful for a small group who cares for each other and supports each other. We put together a care package for a deployed small group member tonight and had a blast taking pictures, writing funny notes and making some videos...

5 Years of Marriage = Much to be thankful for

Alisha and I celebrated our five-year wedding anniversary last Friday! That night during dinner, we had a chance to reflect on the past year. We started this ‘exercise’ (if you will) last year where we share the top three things in various categories, such as: funniest moments, things we have learned, favorite trips, hardest times, most memorable moments, etc. This has truly been a blessing both years we have done it, and I know we will continue doing it for years to come.

I think it is important to look back and reflect, although I rarely do it. This blog is a way to reflect, a discipline I hope to internalize – reflecting on the blessings God has poured out so lavishly on our lives. I have much to be thankful for!

71. I am thankful we ended up leaving late yesterday (although it was very stressful until we arrived) because we missed a lot of traffic and an accident on 64. We would have been sitting forever in accident-traffic

72. Thankful for amazingly delicious seafood on the waterfront to celebrate 5 years of marriage

73. As strange as it sounds, I am thankful for the little lights you put up in front of a camper shaped like different things – they remind me of when I was younger and used to go camping w/ my grandparents…

74. Thankful for times of reflection and talking about the great and difficult things that happened this year

75. Thankful for some quality time w/ my parents and Megan

76. Thankful for the eye-opening experience of watching a toddler for a whole weekend

77. Thankful that my wife and I have stayed together for 5 years – through ups and downs

78. Thankful for hospitality of some good friends and yummy food!

79. Thankful for good talks with distant friends – encouraging and thought-provoking

80. Thankful for forgiveness from others when we hurt or disappoint them

O Happy Day!

I had a wonderful day today. I don't suppose I truly feel that way very often, so I will capitalize on this moment. This is the first week without any clients at work - this is our training and preparation/catch up on paperwork week, and I wasn't really sure how it would go today. I was met with a wonderfully busy day filled with laughter and accomplishment. We were able to do some team-building activities (always worried about those, LOL) which turned out to be hilarious and in my opinion, were huge success.

After work, my co-workers went to Mangia for 'happy hour', and while I didn't drink, those $2 appetizers hit the spot. This time was also filled with lots of laughter and was just a fun time! In the midst of occasional uncertainty, it was great to know that there are some good relationships being formed.

Alisha is doing a project for school where she has to interview and do vocational testing on two individuals, of which I am one. Through the experience, I do believe I am where God has gifted me, but am also uncertain about the longevity of this type of work, and am wondering what kind of career path is in front of me. I don't know why I have this ridiculous need to know what I am doing with my life - the allure of control I suppose is ever beckoning me. I am blessed to have a wife who is full of wisdom and who will listen to me, naming things/tendencies in me that can get me in trouble, and helping to ground my craziness. I am trying to rest in God's goodness and His perfect will for my life.

61. The Shower Being Done!

62. A wife who provides wise feedback - full of grace and humility, and reality!

63. Barriers being broken down and relationships being built!

64. Laughter and fun at work!

65. A nice break from the chaos that is 'summer Therapeutic Day Treatment program'

66. I am thankful for the road/path that God has brought me vocationally over the past 3 years

67. Talking to my boy en-eutero and feeling him kick

68. A Lunch break! - First one I have had since I started at DDS! Got to walk across the street and visit with Alisha for a few minutes today.

69. I am thankful to have a wife that is so active in the community - now she is piloting a study of how technology (iPad, iPod, iPhone) can be used in supportive employment (cool toys!)

70. Prospect of the beach this weekend! I am eagerly anticipating the smell of the ocean!

Halleluia, It's done!

Other than a few minor touches, the shower is done! I am certainly thankful to be able to use it tonight! Here are some pictures! This quick weekend project has turned into an 8 day affair, but it is finally completed. I am happy with how it has come out and am truly blessed to have a wife who was not hysterical about not having a bath/shower for a whole week. Thanks to our dear friends for letting us shower at their homes this week!

ALL is grace

Sometimes I hear people say things like "If God is so loving, why are there bad things in the world?" or "Why do bad things happen to good people?" We were discussing this in small group the other night, how skewed our human, Americanized perspectives can be. We have a sense of "everything should be fair", in the way that we equate fairness. Rather than starting from a perspective of God is holy, and any amount of good given is grace. God gives specific grace in salvation, saving us from our sinful state and giving us new life, but He also demonstrates daily His graces. Restraining grace-none of us are innately good, in fact, we're just the opposite. The only reason we aren't as awful as we are capable of is due to His restraining grace. Without that, we are all just as capable of horrific acts as any terrorist or tyrant.

This concept of daily graces-ALL is grace-is much easier said than done. Especially when it deals with personal things, small things in our everyday that bring annoyances or frustration or the question of "Why?" Friday was one of those days for me. My doctor's visit didn't go as planned, and I now have to go back for a 4 hour test; I feel like the nurses weren't listening to what I was trying to tell them about my body, just what the numbers and books say. My waitress was rude at lunch, I had a horrible headache, and felt as though my trying to be accommodating for a reporter was met with the cold shoulder. Thankfulness-and grace-were not at the top of my list that day. I struggled. A lot. But still, there were graces abounding even then, and throughout the weekend...

51. tests to determine if there truly is cause for concern; doctor's ability to help take care of this sweet boy

52. God-given wisdom to have learned (and continue learning) about nutrition, and what truly is helpful and harmful for my body

53. girls' weekends-lots of nothing filled to the brim with lots of joy and laughter

54. summer nights, slightly sticky

55. the anticipation of autumn

56. the ability to give grace to others; expecting nothing in return and realizing that is the gift of grace-giving it away.

57. a group of friends to share life with-stresses, worries, joys and silliness

58. a cool home in the midst of heat and humidity

59. bird-watching out my window

60. quiet mornings-pondering, growing

~Alisha

We've Reached 5% of our list!

My Turn!

I was thinking tonight I needed to sit and get some things written down that I am thankful for. It has been a long week already and I am very much looking forward to the weekend!

41. A nice talk with my Mom last night - haven't spoken with her in a while and it was really nice to chat (hopefully will get to see them soon)

42. Fun date night with Alisha this evening. We walked downtown and near where they have Friday Cheers they put in a new fountain that pretty much shoots water up in the air in the middle of the 'dance floor' - it was nice to sit and listen to it and feel the cool breeze!

43. God saving me from so many awful situations I see some of my clients live in

44. I am thankful for the random kindness of friends - someone crocheted us a blanket and little hat for baby Meador

45. Boundaries around my work schedule

46. My sister and brother in law got a new apartment closer to both of their jobs! They are very excited to get to move out on their own again and have such a nice place

47. Thankful for the plumber giving us some free advice today when he could have charged for the visit

48. I am thankful for my new TOMS which came in the mail today. They are one for one - for every pair you buy from them, one pair goes to a child who doesn't have shoes - www.toms.com

49. I am truly thankful for a safe pregnancy thus far - THIRD Trimester now!

50. Have I said backrubs yet? If not, it has to go on the list. If I have, I think it deserves two slots in the 1,000.

This has been a crazy experience so far, and we are just starting. Maybe you would consider doing a blog like ours and allow the Lord to start cultivating a mindset of thankfulness in you. If you are not the blogging type, I hope that ours may be an encouragement to you.

In the words of Loverboy, "Everybody's working for the weekend"

Tired

As I write this, Jim is working at cleaning up the bathroom-it's almost done, and looks wonderful!! He just has to seal it and then we'll be ready to actually shower in it. Poor guy is exhausted from all the work, on top of his job and helping some friends, but I think it's a good tired. The kind of tired that comes from accomplishing things and working with your hands. I told him tonight his hands looked very "rugged", I suppose it is from all the tiling and cutting and grouting he's been doing. I kind of like it. Me? I'm just tired from pregnancy, although I suppose having a child grow in my body is pretty hard work too. That, and it has been a long week at work. Praise the Lord for His grace, however, in the midst of chaos He's provided peace and a sense of calm.

#31: rugged hands of my husband that visibly show the care and effort he's put into his work

#32: a cooling breeze after a short rain

#33: the sound of birds chirping outside an office window, reminding me that there is a lot more to life than just what goes on within those walls

#34: birds in our birdbath, on time, every day (if you're wondering bath time is apparently around 5:45 pm)

#35: Wednesday date nights

#36: exploring our downtown a little more through a peaceful evening walk

#36: friendships that allow just stopping in and staying to help

#37: the current sound of running water in our bathtub!

#38: our new chair, providing a place to prop up swollen feet

#39: going through pregnancy with a good friend

#40: transparency. Living life with others.

I soon shall be off to soak in a nice bath...goodnight.

~Alisha

It's a Mindset

So, yesterday was a LONG day! Alisha and I decided to go ahead and redo the shower in the downstairs bathroom as step one of two for finishing the bathroom before Meador #3 arrives. I don't know how, but I ALWAYS underestimate how long things will take. I had hoped to get all the tiling done yesterday and do the grouting this evening, but I had to stop at 11PM last night so the neighbors wouldn't be too upset w/ the sound of a ridiculously loud tile saw.

So after a long day, I was stiff and so tired and all I wanted to do was sleep. I crawl in bed and close my eyes and keep thinking how furstrated I was that I didn't finish the tiling. Alisha asks me "what are you thankful for today", which resulted in annoyance and frustration - can't you tell I am tired? can't you tell I want to sleep? I replied, "a comfy bed" in a short tone and refocused on sleeping! Alisha left the room for a second and I started thinking about what she had said. When she came back in the room, I had my list ready:

21. A comfy bed to fall into when I am tired and sore

22. Friends who are willing to set their own agendas aside to help when I need it

23. A good conversation w/ one of my neighbors

24. Owning the tools to be able to do this renovation project

25. Knowing how to do these renovations which save us a lot of money

26. A good breeze as Alisha and I sat and ate a quick dinner on the side porch

27. Friends who let us use their showers when ours is out of order

28. A wife who asks me the tough questions to get me thinking and help me change my outlook from frustration to thanksgiving

29. Backrubs when I am sore

30. Energy to work and accomplish so much in a day

Hijack

I decided to hijack the blog and thought maybe we could both write on it. It's a little more cohesive to write my list(s) on here than on my other blog...plus I don't keep up with that regularly anyway!

I've been battling allergies for the past 3 days and have felt downright miserable; I thought it was turning into a bad sinus infection. No, really, there's a picture of me on Jim's phone that should never be seen, because it documents just how miserable I looked. While I'm on the upswing (I think) I am still pretty tired and trying to make sure I take it easy...which I feel bad doing when I have a to-do list about 3 miles long!

That's where the change is hitting me. Wanting to nest, to have everything in its place and organized. And when it's not, I feel cluttered, on top of stepping around it in my house. But, while I sit here typing and feeling slightly guilty for not having more energy as my husband is working away in the bathroom tearing apart our shower...there is time for thanks.

#11: enough tile for the bathtub at 90% off retail-we can finally do this project without spending much money!

#12: security knowing God provides what we need, when we need it (monetarily, emotionally, etc.)

#13: flowers. God didn't have to make them at all, and He definitely didn't have to make them beautiful, but they are.

#14: the opportunity to water said flowers and care for God's creation

#15: learning to garden. While it may seem like a bit of a flop this year, we're learning.

#16: a husband who is willing to talk, to listen, and to lead

#17: a God who cares for my company and the employees more than I do

#18: learning, in general. Life, school, work...lots of lessons to be learned

#19: feeling this Little One move inside me. There's nothing quite like it, and it brings me so much joy!

#20: Old friends that last through so much; the ability to laugh and have fun together

I believe I'm off to bed shortly...the mess will have to wait til the morning.

-Alisha

Changes

Change is hard, and I am taking it harder than I thought I would. I long for things to be as they were, or as I remember them... but fleeting 'grass is greener' thoughts don't help me where I am now. My wife has been telling me that she doesn't think we live very intentionally... and my defensive wall goes up. Am I failing at life? Am I failing as a husband? Why isn't my wife happy? She isn't content with our life? STOP! Thoughts and images flood my mind of how my life is so hard and how I am failing at everything when what I am really doing is just depressing myself. For every look I take at myself, I need 10 looks at Jesus. I am chosen. I am redeemed. I have a future hope. I have a million blessings around me and all I can think about is how hot it is outside and tired I am. My wife encouraged me tonight to think about those little blessings. I rummaged through the blogs she follows and found the book she has been talking about - One Thousand Gifts. My goal is to take my wife by the hand and walk this changing winding road together - not missing the blessings God places around us daily. I bought the book on Amazon and though I haven't started reading yet, I am ready to start my list...

1. My wonderful, encouraging, patient wife

2. Meador #3 on the way

3. Friends who love me and who truly care about my life and my family

4. My job - with all the ups and downs

5. My church - the body of Christ as I have never experienced it before

6. Music - I can't picture my life without it

7. Unending Grace - for the chiefest of sinners

8. Working Cars

9. My House (especially now with new windows in this heat)

10. Time outside every day with my job

I am just starting my list, and hope to gain a better focus and perspective on life through eyes of thankfulness and gratitude. Meador #3 will be here by Thanksgiving this year... I wonder how my life will be different by then?